Identity Crisis

This is probably going to wind up being a rant about nothing, but I felt the need tonight to vocalize it to a large group of people. Call me lazy if you like, but telling individual groups of people the same thing multiple times makes me feel like a broken record which in turn makes me feel like even more of an old lady than my sleep schedule already does. And for the record, I'm being a rebel and am awake two hours past my self imposed bed time.

This is about the "Missy" v. "Melissa" debate.

Yes, I prefer Melissa over Missy. For a while I approached it with an I don't care attitude. I finally realized I needed to set boundaries with myself and make sure people call me "Melissa". I can think of about 20 people I'm okay with calling me "Missy", and believe me you know who you are. The members at Pinehurst don't fit into this category because old habits are hard to break.

Melissa Anne was my mom's best friend's name, whom I am named after. When I was an infant my Granddad started calling me Missy, and somehow it stuck. I liked it, everyone liked it, and with a last name like Cheatham when you're in first grade it's a lot easier to have a short and simple first name.

When Granddad passed away, I felt what I thought was clarity in my own Missy/Melissa debate. But now I'm having second thoughts. But I'm realizing that my reasoning for being Melissa instead of Missy is flawed. I shouldn't have decided I am a "Melissa" because Granddad died. I should have wanted to stay Missy because he died.

Don't worry, I'm not going to change my name again, but tonight I had a moment of clarity where I should allow people I love and trust to call me Missy because I loved and trusted Granddad with all of my heart and it was his nickname for me. And that's all it is. A nickname. Not my identity. My heart is still the same whether you call me Melissa, Missy or if you are one of the 6 people I allow to call me "Miss". If a nickname isn't atrocious enough, a nickname FOR a nick name is the worst. But don't ever address me as "Mel". I might throw a rock in your direction.

I'm starting to feel like I will never outgrow Granddad's nickname for me. But if we are going to get positive, at least it can be part of the legacy that he left behind in me.

Is it summer yet?

So I've lived in Colorado my entire life, and every year the weather still baffles me. We definitely have our monsoon season, and while I always expect it, I always forget how bad it can really get. Although I'm sure a lot of people will agree with me that these tornadoes have been exceptionally odd. Last time I checked Kansas was a part of tornado alley, not Colorado.

I feel like the last month has been difficult. Summer unofficially started at my work on Memorial Day. Normally the weekend building up to the first holiday of the season is extremely busy, but Mother Nature had other plans for that. Luckily Memorial Day was beautiful and we experienced sales on the level of the 4th of July. It was NUTS!! Memorial Day is a day the last couple years that has become difficult for me. I never appreciated the holiday until my Granddad passed away. Father's day is coming up this weekend, and that is another holiday that I never appreciated until the one I celebrated it with wasn't around. My mom and I visited Fort Logan that morning before I went to work and brought him flowers. We heard bagpipes playing, which we thought was beautiful. We weren't able to stay for the program they put on, but we will next year.

Since Memorial Day means summer, that means pools are OPEN! It's a wonderful thing. Especially when you work at one. During the summer I bar tend at a pool bar and serve food there at Pinehurst. Last year I was the supervisor, and oversaw the service being provided. This year, for multiple reasons, I am not. I didn't think it would a difficult transition, but it turned out to be a lot more different than I expected. That, sleep deprivation, and my selective hearing resulted in a confrontation at work I have never had, nor that I thought I would ever have. It's almost impressive that I have worked somewhere for 5 years without getting in trouble, but at the same time that's the point. But needless to say, this was an extremely grounding and humbling experience. Having not truly been reprimanded there before I was shocked, but I then realized that my attitude seriously needed to be put in check, and not just at work.

The bittersweet feelings toward my place of employment remain, even though the countdown is on. 80 more days until my last day at somewhere that has been my home away from home for the last 6 summers, and 5 years. I see a swan dive off the high dive in my future!

With things changing at work, I'm finding myself with less free time to pursue fundraising. Although now the pressure is on, and I have a deadline set to where I need to have half of my funds in by July 15th! That really hit me hard. While I still have been pursuing it, there is now a fire under my rear kicking me into gear to get to this goal. Half means $9,000. With what I already have and what I am expecting in the next week, I have over $2,000. So I still need approximately $7,000 more by July 15th.

My tupperware fundraiser is still going on through the weekend! So far so good :) I will post the link below again, as well as the link to the online Tupperware Party my mom and I are hosting, where I will get 25% of total sales donated towards my internship fund! I will post the link to that as well. The difference is the fundraiser has it's own catalog, and the Party is the FULL summer catalog. More items to chose from.

TUPPERWARE FUNDRAISER

TUPPERWARE PARTY

I will also be hosting a Damsel in Defense Personal Protection Party on June 23, 2014 at my friend Lisa's home. She is a consultant for Damsel and is offering to donate 10% of her commissions to my internship fund from my friend Gwen's party that was held last week, my party, AND any that are booked off of my party. It's really a lot of fun, that have different types of stun guns, pepper sprays, and personal protection items geared toward keeping women safe. 

Since I am pressing close to my fundraising deadlines I want to remind anyone who is willing to support me of the different ways, other than the Tupperware stuff. You can make a one time gift in ANY amount, or you can set up monthly donations in any amount for the 11 month duration of the internship. To put it in perspective, if you donate $10 a month, that's $110.
$10 is the same as a bar tab, less than a hookah at exhale, less than some people spend on Starbucks in a week, a Spotify membership, and a little more than a netflix membership!

So think about it, because remember, you're investing in my future! And maybe giving up one night at the bar a month will invest in your own future as well!! The link to donate online is below. 

Melissa's Internship Support Gifts

To those of you who are consistently praying for me and who have supported me (or plan to) financially, Thank you SO much. God is so good, and I am aware I cannot do this on my own. He has given me such a wonderful support system and so many fantastic people in my life to guide me where I need to be. Even on days when I feel torn down, stressed out and alone, I know He is with me and that I am not. I have started a group on Facebook for all of my Facebook friends to join and share in my little victories, pray for me publicly, and to keep track on my fundraising ideas a little easier. IF we are friends and you didn't get an invite, please don't be offended, I'll get there. I'm sure I forgot a few people.

Here's a throwback for ya....since I am "celebrating" my 6th summer at Pinehurst, here is a picture from my first.
#throwbackthursday