Happy Thanksgiving!

It's the "thing" to obsess over fall and holidays. Fall is beautiful, but winter is better. Thanksgiving is great, and so is Christmas. But obsessing over it really doesn't do me a whole lot of good.

Let's get one thing straight before you read the rest:

• I am not complaining
• I love my family
• I love Thanksgiving and I love Christmas
• But even more than that I love Jesus

In 2006 I started a job where I worked holidays. All holidays. So in 2006 my family altered our Thanksgiving traditions and plans so I could work. Then in 2008 I spent my first Thanksgiving away from my family and went to Orlando to be with my brother and his (then) girlfriend. I got to meet my youngest nephew who was two at the time. He just turned 8 yesterday. I also got to go to Disney World for the first time. It was an amazing experience. I was so thankful to have such a welcoming brother and such a wonderful mother, uncle and grandparents who let me leave them that year.

Seriously the most beautiful place

The thing I said I was thankful for was life. I brought that up after a day of being sick as a dog at Disney World, because the stomach flu has impeccable timing, and my brother and I got into our first legitimate fight. It is our second worst to date. Being thankful for life wasn't good enough because I was in the "happiest place on Earth". While he might resent me for airing that out again, it's true that since then Thanksgiving has had a nasty taste in my mouth.

In 2010 I snuck away and was able to go to Thanksgiving lunch with my mom, grandparents and uncle. Then spent the evening with my Dad's family that was in Colorado. That was when I learned what being "wine-drunk" meant. In 2012 (I am just now noticing this even-year pattern) I begged for the day off so I could be with my grandparents who's health was failing rapidly. We hung out in the rehab center but couldn't eat with him so we went home to my grandma who had pneumonia. I spent the evening with a friend and had a delicious dinner, played great games and had good community. His mom passed away weeks later so I felt so grateful that I was able to be a part of their Thanksgiving.

This year, I raved about not having to work on Thanksgiving, seriously not realizing that every other year I've had it off. But now that it's here, well let's just say the grass is always greener on the other side.

I have a very eclectic and unique family. I love it, and I love that I am a part of a community that accepts anyone and everyone no matter their background, but I feel like there is some weird pity that is aired around the holidays in Christian communities. I know so many people say they have dysfunctional families, but the cheek seems to be turned around the holidays.

Not thanksgiving, but our most recent family photo, circa 2008

It's not weird for me to be without my family on Thanksgiving, and honestly the 4 hours we will spend with each other tomorrow will be plenty. There is no reason to feel sorry for me for not going anywhere or for not being stoked for Thanksgiving. I sure don't.

If Thanksgiving was truly about expressing what I'm thankful for and being around family who care to be around each other, I would have no problem with it. If Christmas was truly about spreading the amazing news of the birth of Jesus and all He has done for us (and being around family who care to be around each other), I would have no problem with it. But the truth is, when you have a family of 4 who don't always get along, no extra relatives, and no small children running around holidays are just another day. They seem like the Valentine's days for families: You should be showing what you are thankful for and how much you love Jesus all year long but this is just an excuse to do so on a specific day, spend lots of money, and still wind up fighting.

Since I am supposed to be thankful tomorrow, here are a few things on that list:

• Life! (this year I don't think my brother would argue with being thankful for that)
• Jesus
• My awesome internship, wonderful house (even the washer that thinks it has wings) and the wonderful women who occupy it with me
• Those same women, Ally and the boys (aka all the other interns) who I share a sweat shop style office with and put up with me while I have the scramps, am hangry, am tired, or have had too much coffee
• The children and students who I get to point toward Jesus. The fantastic bosses I have to point me toward Jesus
• My mom who has been my biggest support, my biggest fan (yes that is a Backstreet Boys reference), and my 2 am phone call when things are rough
• ALL of the rest of my supporters who are praying for me, checking in on me, and who have financially supported me. I wouldn't be here without every.single.one.of.you.
• My Mimi and Granddad who helped raise me and made me the woman I am today. Holidays haven't started getting easier without Granddad, but one day I know they will

This was Thanksgiving 1994 I believe

Like I said, in no way am I complaining or hating on Thanksgiving and Christmas. There are just two sides to every story, and I wouldn't change mine for anything. Anyways, I'll be the one with the entertaining stories come January ;)