The 4 musketeers AKA the three best friends that anyone could ever have

Bonus points if you sang the last half of that title like in the Hangover.

So lately I've considered myself an avid blogger. And not a real blogger (because you know how often I post). But a blog reader. Then one time I read a blog that made me mad. The blog was about when to let go of a friendship. I read it and I started to think about my three best friends, which is exactly why it made me mad. Stephanie, Brittany and Katie are the definition of friends who "distance only makes the heart grow fonder" or "Best friends are people you don't need to talk to or see every day-you don't need to talk to each other for weeks but when you do it's like you never stopped talking".

All of those mushy, gushy, sappy, lovey-dovey, make you wanna vomit quotes about friendship totally apply to the four of us. So do all of the ones that go like "You break her heart I'll break your face" or (said by yours truly on Friday) "I'm glad you're okay because if you weren't I would let you get better and then I would hurt you".

Back to that blog. It made me mad because the three of them have been by my side since we are at least 3 years old. Our lives are just different now. I started to think that maybe we were just supposed to be friends for that season of our lives. And yes, a season can last 23 years. I wasn't feeling secure in our friendship because I just wasn't right in the head, or something.

Stephanie is married, working full time and lives in another state. We are watching the TV show "Friends" from pilot to finale together. And don't forget she lives in Missouri. Stephanie and I once got into a fight over a toothbrush. Her mom called my mom and it was an ordeal. She also made me cry via text message on Tuesday, yeah beyotch you made me cry when you texted me that. I visited her in Hell Paso, surprised her when she came home from her tour in Iraq, and she came to visit me in Gunnison. A note to my future husband: Surprising Steph in Texas was the best moment of my life and has yet to be topped, and I'm not entirely sure my wedding day will top that moment.

Brittany and I hated each other until third grade. I was mad and jealous that she was stealing my best friend. She was a black belt too, and we competed against each other and I brought her to a board breaking seminar. She tried to break two at one time and was disappointed that the boards didn't break. HAHAHA it was an optical illusion because the second one broke, not the first one!!! For years we lived like 2 miles away from each other and only saw each other on major holidays. She had stitches in her face on my 10th birthday and I had stitches in my foot on her 10th birthday. Brittany won't be wearing a dress in my wedding.

And then there's Katie. I also hated Katie in kindergarten. Me and the guy she "dated" until 6th grade didn't like her. And then in second grade we became BFF and have been inseparable since. Everything she did, I had to do. I was in constant competition with her and wanted to be just like her. Katie and I recently discussed all of the times we have hurt each other since forever. I gave her a black eye with a cell phone on a trampoline, she dumped me out of a wagon going at least 15 miles an hour in front of an entire neighborhood. I punched her a lot, she barfed all over the toilet (but proceeded to not judge me for being a sissy about getting three stitches).

And I think we all fell out of the tree in Brittany's grandparents yard at some point.

Basically, if you don't know these girls you should, and if you're not friends with them then there is something wrong with you and you should change that.

I was insecure in our friendship as 25-26  year olds because I was insecure in myself. I felt like because my life is different than it was that I wasn't worthy of still being their friend. But I am. We love each other and will always love each other. The best thing about these three girls is that our dinner table is a judgement free zone always. I can be a jerk, but they love me. Katie brings me back down and calls me on my shit. Brittany supports me. Stephanie listens and understands and sends me really cool gifts just because. And I have three birthday cards sitting here waiting for her....(I'm terrible).

I feel like a terrible, no good, rotten friend a lot of the time, which makes me feel not worthy. But I am. My worth comes from God. God gave me these three sisters to be by my side through all of the good, bad, ugly, beautiful, difficult, easy, and all of the crap that life throws our way. I know I am where I am because God is in control, but part of me really doesn't know where I would be without these girls in my life.

The enemy has been very strategically placing temptations and obstacles in my way for the last 7 days. Thoughts of unworthiness kept popping into my head and Friday I couldn't help but thinking that I wasn't cut out for this, whatever "this" is, and that it was time for me to pack up and go back. which is exactly what he wanted me to think. Let me tell you, that is so far from the truth. Katie, Brittany and I may not be able to sit down and have a theological discussion, but there is something to be said about sharing a serious discussion, coupled with my inability to be serious about anything and cracking jokes about everything, then belly laughing about our pasts, presents, and futures together, that ultimately makes the heart so much warmer and more receptive to God's positive messages and gives me the power to tell that enemy to eff off.

High School graduation 2007

Reunited and it feeeeeels so good! 2014

Today the gang pointed out to me that these pictures are almost exactly the same. Reverse the order and reverse the colors. IE...Katie and I are wearing colors while Steph and Britt are in black. And we are in the same order just flopped. Creepy....