I am here. We are Here.

I don't think the creators of the I Heart Radio music festival thought they would get the response to "We are here" that they did. It became the official hashtag for our team retreat last week. We happened to watch Alicia Keys perform her "original" "song" for the festival. I don't know what "We are here" meant to the producers, but to us it meant that we are here. Right now. At this retreat. We are here.

It's hard to believe I have been an intern for a month. It feels like it's flown by, yet gone slow enough that I can fully enjoy the moments as they're happening.  I have bonded with this group of individuals in an incredible way. We have family dinners on Monday nights, which are extremely entertaining, but I wouldn't expect anything less. When you have 9 like-minded and weird people in one space things tend to get a little crazy. So we started a twitter. If you know what's good for you, go follow us at @fccinterns. 

The last month has been wonderful, and I have been able to see the power of truth, grace, and mercy in action on a daily basis. In that same respect, it's been difficult. I have had little time to myself, yet always feel alone. I love all of the amazing people I get to do life with now, but I find myself missing my old life and the people who have been my main support system for the last few years. I have realized that I have taken those relationships for granted for too long, and I didn't even realize that is what I was doing until I moved. I'm no longer compelled to be out every night, and I don't miss it. And while I miss that community, I also know that the friends who have stuck with me through this will be the ones who are in it for the long haul.

I have already learned how important having a personal ministry is to having a successful ministry as an intern. It is so easy to say "I prayed 8 times on Sunday, I don't need to spend any time God today". That may be easy to say at the time, but I have already experienced the exhausting repercussions of that statement. I had been warned to make sure that doesn't happen, and maybe it was human nature that I had to learn it the hard way but I did. I became overwhelmed and exhausted simply because of a compliment. I love what I do, but I began to question God's judgement of my character. I know I am not perfect and will always fall short of His glory, but it became to take over my thoughts.

God was able to pull me back to Him quicker than He has in the past, and for that I am very thankful. In my eyes I was still an outsider, and I still wondered "why me". I think I will always wonder that. Why did God decide that this is the path for me at this time? Why did he let me experience so much heartache, so much let down, and so much emotional and physical abandonment and then drop me here to be His messenger? I see how He can work through me, but I still don't get "why me".

Wednesday I returned home no longer an outsider. God was able to show me why I'm here. I saw how I got along with my fellow student ministry interns/roommates, teammates, and realized that God has called us all to minister to teenagers for a specific reason. I still don't know why me or what that reason is, but I have found comradery in the fact that I share so many similar attributes to these people. And that is the best "Why" I can have right now.

I still wonder "Why me" and "what if ______" (fill in the blank with any absurd, paranoid and codependent thought), but it doesn't define me right now. God has shown me that it is okay to miss my old life, as long as I reminisce on the good times and don't obsess over what isn't mine anymore. God has entrusted me with this life, and I don't want to waste it worrying and wishing things were different. Things are the way they are, and well....we are here.

Check it!

My first full week as an Intern at Flatirons has been crazy! There have been lots of people to meet, names to remember, and books to read this week, and that could very well be the biggest challenge I face. Reading three different books at a time could be very confusing, especially when you add these two gems that I have found on my desk into that mix.

 

Some of the highlights of my first week as an Intern:

• There is such a thing as too much coffee and sugar. I attended a surprise birthday party on day one that had cake, candy and pizza...all after 3 cups of coffee. Wednesday I drank water. 
• Work doesn't feel like work right now. Maybe one day it will, but right now, it doesn't. On our first day we stayed at our office way past when we really needed to be there.
• Experienced what goats do on a day to day basis.
• I painted a ceiling tile, a door frame, a floor, as well as did paint touch ups for the foyer of the basement for student ministries. 
• I got to serve in children's ministry for the first time where I met two super adorable little girls who I got to play with all morning. 
• I then got to help Ben and the rest of the West campus staff launch a youth program at West campus! What an amazing experience. Interacting with the staff, leaders and students for that was so crazy. 80ish middle schoolers and 57 high schoolers and I can't wait to see how God works in all of their hearts.
• Experienced a kids ministry teacher interview. 
• Named our house "the Babe Cave", started a group twitter (@fccinterns if you wish to follow our hilarity) and figured out why our doorbell doesn't work.

These are just a few of the many highlights of the week. Honestly I could write a few pages about each one and how they have impacted me.

Last week my small group discussed what it means to be a follower of Jesus. We talked about how that means giving up some things. For me, those things were certain friendships, smoking, relationships with men and the things associated with them. Sometimes being a follower of Jesus means doing the same things but in a different way. We discussed was drinking.  I had to reevaluate how I drink alcohol. I like beer, wine and tequila because I think they taste good. If I am going to spend $15 on beer I would rather by a 6 pack of craft beer than a 30 rack of keystone light to get me wasted. What do these things all have in common? They are all extremely uncomfortable. Being a follower of Jesus, an intern at Flatirons, a woman of faith in a modern world are all things that are out of my comfort zone and make me extremely uncomfortable.

When we become comfortable with someone, some thing, or at some place we get stuck in a routine that can be potentially dangerous. We are not challenging ourselves and we are not embracing the full life that Jesus intended for us to live. Jesus asked his 12 disciples to give up everything they owned, their families, friends and lives to follow Him. Coming into this internship I was unsure if this is exactly where I was meant to be right now. After the first week I am confident He has meant for me to give up my comfortable life to follow Him and to bring the light of Jesus into kids and teenagers at Flatirons.

Following Jesus is uncomfortable, and I've been so uncomfortable all week. I like to think I'm doing a great job at following Jesus, but I know I'm not perfect. I used to think there was this fine line to walk while trying to live life with grace for myself and others while still holding on to the truth. Ask anyone who is close to me (or asked me for advice after two glasses of wine) and they will tell you I am great at the truth part but suck at the grace part. Or I hit the nail on the head when it comes to grace, but I don't hold on to truth in a way that is beneficial for anyone. But Andy Stanley tells us in "Deep and Wide" (go ahead and make dirty comments, I bet you we have already thought it) that it's not a balance, it's 100% truth AND 100% grace. Talk about being uncomfortable.

God is so great, and uses some of the most unlikely people in the most unlikely ways. I am so humbled to be a part of this program and be able to do life with these awesome people that I share an office with, a home with, and a calling with. I am so grateful and so appreciative of all of my readers, friends, family, colleagues and supporters who have helped give me this opportunity to experience what ministry is life. I cannot wait to see how God transforms the hearts of the kids and students I will be with all year as well as the other interns and myself.

Girl Meets World

I read a fun fact about Coloradans through something on Buzzfeed: That we love to talk about the weather. Maybe more than anything else besides football. I think something that can be added to that list is seasons. I feel like I'm always saying "I can't wait until...." fill in the blank with whatever the next season is supposed to be. Or when it is supposed to be summer, and it is acting like winter, I can't help but comment to everyone who walks up to my poolside bar how weird our weather is, even for Colorado. However, I'm constantly reminded that every May it snows, every June it rains, every July is hot as Hades, and every August I manage to catch a flu like cold.

I think it's appropriate to talk about seasons because life is full of them, and each year is full of them, depending on what region you're in of course! I also think it is appropriate to mention seasons because I had written about how happy I was summer was here, how fast it came upon us, and now I will be writing about the end of summer! Parents are cheering, kids are crying, seasonal employees are partying and the rest of us are stuck somewhere in the middle. For me in previous years, August and September were no fun because we are always so short staffed that 6 days a week and over time is inevitable. The end of this summer marks something special I haven't experienced since I left for my freshman year in college. It's the end of summer, beginning of fall, but it is also the end of my time at Pinehurst and the beginning of a new path God has laid out for me. This is the beginning of a new season of my life, and I so hope this is the season where God reveals to me where I belong.

I've almost felt like a teenager going off to college again. Getting a redo on what I so massively screwed up. While I understand that is not the case for this, it is easy to compare it. I feel like I have been reliving my teen years and embracing my inner-werido by listening to too much pop music (I rediscovered BBMak today...) and watching tv shows that depict the lives of teenagers including Pretty Little Liars, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, and Boy Meets World. Watching the last made me check out the spin off about Corey and Topanga's daughter. The pilot episode is where Riley is trying to make her world her own, instead of her parents. Okay so I'm not a 6th grader (though most are taller than me and I feel like one sometimes), but I felt connected to her struggle. I'm not trying to discover my world. I've done that for years. I'm handing my life over to God and making my world His world.

However the closer this transition gets, the scarier it gets as well. I have lots of fantastic friends, family and colleagues who have supported me both financially and by praying for me for a long list of things. I have people supporting me from every spectrum of my life. Some who I have only known for a little over a week, some I have only met once, and those who have been a part of my real family/chosen family my entire life. God is so wonderful to have brought these people to me when I need them the most. I still have a hard time looking for words when I pray about support, but God knows what I need and what I am asking for, even if I struggle to make the ask. Even though I have a little over two weeks to raise a large amount of support (minimum of $6,000) I still have no doubt in my mind that God will take care of me, protect me, and guide me through the process of getting the rest of this support! I'm a lady on a mission with an almighty Lord backing me up and honestly, there is nothing I don't believe I can't accomplish with that!

To those of you who have supported me: I thank you from the bottom of my heart! If you have not received a thank you card, it is in my purse and will be mailed or personally delivered within the next week.

To those of you who would still like to support me: Cash or checks can be given to me or mailed directly to the church. Be sure the checks are made out to Flatirons Community Church and in the memo line you put "Internship: Melissa Cheatham" and mail them to
Flatirons Community Church
Attn: Internship Program
355 S. Boulder Road
Lafayette, CO 80026

OR ask me for a pre-addressed and pre-stamped envelope!

You may also send your gift toward my internship support via the internet! Clicking here will take you to the website to donate online. Don't forget to put my name "Melissa Cheatham" in the interns name box!

This week my official notice was turned in to my boss saying my last day is September 1st. 13 days until I move into my new residence (for the next 11 months). And 18 more days to finish raising all of my funds so this journey of a lifetime can begin!

Every great story starts with....

"So I just got back from being lost in the woods"

OK so maybe not every great story starts that way, but that's sure how my Independence day weekend started. My friend Vashti and I went on what we thought was going to be a short, fun evening hike at Lair O' the Bear. Well...due to flooding, late snows, etc. the trail we were both used to was closed, and we set out on the Bear Creek Trail. Well needless to say it wasn't a "loop" trail. After a few miles, and the sun slowly setting we realized we may be lost. I think lost might be the wrong term, because we were still on the path. But had we kept going the way we were going, our hike might have turned into a camp. And the pup might have not been too happy with that. Luckily her husband came to our rescue and was hiking up the mountain as we were hiking down, since we had no flashlights and were running out of water.

This lovely set of bones was found during our hike. We saw it in the daylight and it wasn't this creepy. But with Joel's spotlight for us to walk in (or walk behind if you're graceful like me) it was UBER creepy. #forestofdeath

Sometimes I forget that verses from the Bible can be applicable in day to day situations. There are times where I'm really good at remembering to consciously pray, thank Him for His sacrifices, and am fully aware of why I believe in God. But I do have days where I forget. I lived so much of my life without God that when I'm in trouble it isn't the first direction I run. However, that night was one where He was with us the entire way and I was fully aware of the statement "Fear not, for I am with you"(Isaiah 41:10). I didn't panic, because God is greater than me. And God is greater than our sense of direction.

This year also marked my last 4th of July at Pinehurst, which was super exciting. Bittersweet is the word I have been using to describe most of this summer. I normally never volunteer for 12+ hour days, but that day is always my favorite. Getting paid to watch fireworks? Heck yes! Especially the best show in town. But I'm not biased at all. The beginning of my newest adventure is getting closer and closer, so my nerves are kicking in. But I keep reminding myself "Fear not, for I am with you". Even at my lowest points, I know God meets me and picks me up. He will never give up on me and will always be there for me.

I am spending this summer working hard, building new relationships with new friends and old acquaintances. I'm trying new things and having fun with some of the coolest people I've ever been surrounded by. Including my siblings. My little sister's best friend from Maui visited and I was able to take them to Glenwood and had a BLAST! My calling truly is students. And I'm support raising. Anyone who has talked to me in the last three months knows there is not a conversation without me bringing up support, funds, or fundraiser.

Yes, that watermelon was broken in half using someone's head.


That process sometimes seems like a burden, but overall it's been the biggest blessing I have encountered, and I wish I would have realized that earlier in the process. I am having so much fun talking to my friends, family and colleagues about how God is working my heart and at Flatirons, and how passionate I am about the next step I am taking in my life and in my faith. I have become better about praying for myself, praying earnestly, and trusting the Lord God with all my heart.

As most of the summer is passing by (way too quickly I might add), I am taking time off of work in a few weeks to visit my awesome and supportive cousins, aunts and uncles. My trip through Kansas is the best vacation I could ask for, because even though it's a long drive alone I always have a blast. I love seeing the little ones grow up and my cousins who, even though I didn't know them until a few years ago, we have so much in common. Oh, and baseball. Because Baseball. And softball.

I just read a quote on facebook that said "Being a Christian doesn't mean I won't fall...it means Jesus will catch me when I do" and that is the #truth He has caught me in so many ways, especially the more I learn to trust Him and follow His word.

I hope everyone has had a wonderful July so far and is enjoying their summer. I know I sure am :)